Speaking Your Wedding Team's Love Language

April 29, 2014

Using the popular book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, we can help decipher our relationships in the wedding world, and we can strengthen and better connect with our bridal party, vendors, and all other wedding-related folks.

How do they feel loved? How can we connect? How can we improve our wedding experience by doing so?

In The Five Love Languages, it is explained that how we feel loved can be bubbled down to five different types: Words of Affirmations, Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Every person "speaks" these love languages in some varying degree, but everyone has one or two primary love languages-- when they feel most loved by someone or how they show love.

When you first meet someone, you can almost always pick up immediately whether or not they are an introvert or an extrovert. But it takes a little bit more time to really get to know their love language, or how they connect/open up with others. During an engagement, the stress is on. So many people are vying for your attention, you're helping orchestrate one of your life's biggest transitions, and a whole lot of details are on your shoulders.

First, take a step back and look at that amazing support system you do have-- your chosen wedding team. It really couldn't be done without them. When we refocus on outwardly showing our appreciation for those loved ones, it's funny how the stress melts away and the planning can become exciting again.

When you are genuine in learning who your wedding team is on an individual level, you find there are a multitude of ways to "speak their language" and truly make one kicktail experience from engagement to wedding day.


Words of Affirmation
* Send a text message with cheerful encouragement.
* Post a link to their Facebook wall that reminded you of them, like a product they’d love, an outfit that would look fabulous on them.
* Take a moment to write something in your wedding guestbook just for them to discover on the wedding day.
* Say a special speech of thanks during the wedding reception to let them know how much you appreciate their love and support.

Acts of Service
* If possible, ask their "Will you be my bridesmaid?" proposal in person.
* Take a few extra minutes and get them their favorite morning beverage on the day of.
* Ensure everyone is well-fed and hydrated all day long.
* Help adjust their hair and dress (along with a "You are beautiful!" compliment) before you get into your gown.

* Treat your girls to a girls' night in or out.
* Send a little care package filled with some favorite get-wedding-ready goodies.
* Make a card with some favorite inside jokes and send a week before the wedding.
* Pay for day-of hair and makeup.

Quality Time
* Take them out to lunch sometime during your engagement.
* Go shopping together for wedding accessories.
* Invite them over for a movie.
* Organize a "No Wedding Talk Allowed" getaway.

Physical Touch
* Hug them every chance you see them in person.
* Fuss over their wardrobe and hair details while getting ready.
* Link arms during the wedding reception and let them know how much they mean to you.
* Orchestrate a big ole group photo after the ceremony.


Words of Affirmation
* Send a thank you email.
* Tweet out your excitement that you're so glad she is a part of your wedding team.
* Write a review on WeddingWire after the wedding.
* Say a special speech of thanks during the wedding reception to let them know how much you appreciate their love and support.

Acts of Service
* Fill out his/her vendor-specific questionnaires ahead of schedule in the pre-wedding days.
* Ensure she is well-fed and hydrated all day long.
* Share your vendor experience with your friends and online.
* Double-check to make sure they received their vendor meal during the reception.

* Get crafty and send a homemade gift around the holidays in the pre-wedding days.
* Send a thank you gift after the wedding.
* Give one of your floral centerpieces to her after the reception.
* Print one of your favorite wedding photos and send it with your thank you card.

Quality Time
* Set up a lunch date to catch up on wedding progress.
* Invite her to your bridal shower or rehearsal dinner.
* Go on a double date with her and her significant other.
* Attend an event hosted by the vendor.

Physical Touch
* Hug them upon greeting.
* Link arms during the wedding day and let them know how much you appreciated their hard work.
* Orchestrate a photo together during the reception.
* If your vendor is working with his/her spouse during your reception, invite them to share a dance together when things are a little more slow.

What is your primary love language? How do you like to show love to people?
Share in a comment below! :)

SEE THE WEDDINGS: Guestbook Writing by Bit of Ivory Photography on Borrowed and Bleu // Photo Booth Fun by Rob Garland Photographers // Elvis' Pink Caddy by Bit of Ivory Photography on Pretty Pear Bride