I am a second generation "absent" MOB. My mother worked in Africa and couldn't tell the American Ambassador in Cairo that she had to fly home for her oldest daughter's wedding. And then history tragically repeated itself when it was my turn to be the MOB for Chelsea. I lived on the West Coast, owned a business that required that I be there at the very time my oldest East Coast daughter wanted to get married.

I did the best I could online, by email, and by phone. Nothing could have kept me from the actual wedding day though! I closed my store. I wish I 'coulda' been there for the beginning, to see the sparkle of the tear in her eye when she realized that she had just tried on her wedding dress for the first time. I saw pictures but that didn't do it justice. I 'woulda' liked to have shared that Kodak moment. I 'woulda' liked to have known more about the Williamsburg venue; I missed taking the tour. It was so important to her, and I hadn't realized the gravity of how important that detail was until a few years later. I heard her wishes and understood her desires, but I could not have known how important those details were to her until I saw it for myself. I missed the cake tasting, and worse, the bridal shower. Maternal guilt.

Thank goodness for supportive close friends and family who made sure she had help in the planning stages of her wedding because that was the only consolation. I am very grateful to have had a "surrogate" MOB who was close to her and was capable of doing what my daughter wanted and needed.


With good timing, communication with her best friends and family-- your daughter can have her day, and you can still be part of it.

* Communicate with the "surrogate" and your daughter to ensure that plans are progressing as needed.

* Pay the vendor bills on time to avoid any delays or problems. Ask how you can help.

* Know your daughter, know her dreams and capabilities.

* Divide and delegate what can be done by someone else.

* Be grateful and appreciative to those who can and will be able to help her.

Be the biggest rock in the rubble of uncertainty. Most importantly, "be there" - in any way that you can. Life is full of "woulda, coulda, shouldas." It's important to accept that sometimes mothers in today's world simply cannot always be physically present for those special moments. And when you are able to be present, enjoy that time together.

- Kay

Looking for more POV from the MOB? Read the entire series!

ABOUT THE WRITER:
Kay Dayton is a contributing writer to Tidewater and Tulle. Hailing from San Diego, Kay found herself back in Hampton Roads to be with her two daughters (one of whom is the Tidewater and Tulle editor!) in late 2013. With years of managerial experience (and a her passion for nature and macro photography) in the non-wedding world, she brings a refreshing perspective on the local wedding industry, especially as a past mother-of-the-bride. When she's not keeping things organized on the business end, Kay loves to go beachcombing, sailing, and rooting for the Chargers.


Photo by Fareine Benz.

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It's the start of 2014, and we have the latest in some local wedding news to bring you up to speed about some local pros doing some pretty neat things. :)


Peninsula Wedding Professionals Join Together
To bring the Peninsula wedding community closer together, area businesses from Hampton and up meet every month to discuss new ways to serve and support the local wedding industry. If you're a local wedding professional who lives and serves the Peninsula, you can find out more information on the dedicated Peninsula Wedding Professionals Facebook page about meetups.

Wedding Workshops by Event Professionals at Wayside Village Shoppes
Vendor Fam Antonia Christianson Events and friend Isha Foss Events have started up hosting fabulous monthly flower- and event-related workshops for ladies, gents, pros, and whoever loves all things weddings in Virginia Beach! Some are complimentary, some are BYO, and some have a materials fee. You can find out more about each month's topic on their Facebook page.

Honoring a Local Legend
Known for her modeling, big heart, and presence in the wedding industry (particularly the bridal fashion shows), Jeanette "Cookie" Cooke-Dabney passed away on January 20, 2014. Her obituary on HamptonRoads.com is a lovely tribute to her life's accomplishments and influence on many.

Love and More Love
While a little bit broader than the 757 region, Virginia's Attorney General Mark Herring declared the state's ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional which ultimately will affect our whole local wedding industry. We know LGBT-cheerleader Vendor Fam Cherry Blossom Weddings is ready to pounce with excitement when word is given!

Williams-Sonoma Wedding Gift Registry Contest
Our local Williams-Sonoma stores in Virginia Beach, Williamsburg, and Norfolk all are participating in a cool wedding registry contest for brides and grooms where they have the chance to win a $5,000 Williams-Sonoma gift card. Tidewater and Tulle did get sponsored to chat about wedding registries yesterday, but we are crazy optimistic and hoping someone local wins it!

Happily Ever After Even for the Wedding Pros
At the Uniquely Yours Bridal Showcase in front of dozens engaged ladies and gents, Roger Cruz of Astro Entertainment led a special light design turned marriage proposal (with the help of Stage Right Lighting and Maya Couture)... of his own! You can watch the proposal right on YouTube! See, even we pros are suckers for swoonable stories in our personal lives! :)

The Bridal Dish Comes to Williamsburg
Opening up its first Peninsula location, Kelly Coronel of The Bridal Dish of Williamsburg will be serving area brides and grooms in this unique wedding planning studio. A website is still pending but you can find her on Facebook for grand opening updates.


Know something else that's going on in the Hampton Roads wedding industry for next month's LWH edition? Please send an email to chelsea@tidewaterandtulle.com. Disclaimer: Announcements and news will be posted at the discretion of the editor and its overall benefit to the wedding community as a whole. All news is welcome, but priority is given to Tidewater and Tulle Vendor Fam members. For sponsored posts and paid event announcements, please email for advertising rates.

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